Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Out of the Mouths: 4th Edition

Summer has been LONG.  We have all had a lot of together time, and patience is starting to wear thin.  But funny quips like these always seem to put a smile on my face.

Talking with Trenton:

Trenton: Daddy, it looks like your hair got cut.
Jarrod: Why yes, buddy, I did get a haircut.  You are the first one to notice.
Trenton:  Did you get your hair turned gray too?

(Cleaning up after a project)
I can’t get this paint off the chair.  My fingernails are too short.  A girl needs to do it.  Their fingernails are longer.  And that’s why they need to do all of the cleaning.

Evelyn, I see some boogers in your nose.  But don’t worry.  I’ll teach you how to get them out because I’m a nose picking expert.

Charlotte, remember the most important rule while our friends are here – no tattling.
(If that’s not pre-meditation, I don’t know what is!)

My robot only has one arm.  I’m pretending that a shark bit it off and he’s waiting to get a poletic (prosthetic) one.

photo 1 (37)

(I picked up Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron at the library and put it on after dinner one night.  I had to step outside for a second, and when I came back in, a newborn baby Spirit was being licked off by his mother.)
Trenton:  Mommy, did you know that wild horses shoot babies out of their hineys?!?!?!
Me:  Out of their hineys?  Oh wow!  I didn’t know that!
(I had totally forgotten about the whole horse birth thing being shown, but I was glad that I was able to play it off and there were no more questions!)


Charlotte’s Chatter:

Me: Charlotte, make sure you eat all of your egg.  Not just the white part.  The whole thing will help you grow big.
Charlotte:  Well, you know how I grow big?  I stand on my tippie toes!

Evelyn, if you want to go to sleep, just go to sleep.  You don’t have to cry about it!

Why do girls names change when they get married, but boys get to keep their names?  That’s just not fair.  I’m keeping my name the same when I get married.  I’m never changing it.  No!  Never!

Me: You can’t wear your swimsuit like that.  It shows your boobies.  And boobies are private, remember?
Charlotte:  Why do boobies have to be private?  They are just bumps on your chest.  And Trenton and Daddy get to show their boobies.  It’s not fair that boys get to show their boobies and girls don’t!

Why can’t Daddy drive home from the restaurant?  Are his hands slippery?

Charlotte:  Trenton is going to tattle on me after he finishes his volcano.
Me:  So you’re tattling that Trenton is going to tattle?
Charlotte:  Uh huh.
Me:  So really what you’re telling me is that you did something to Trenton that you weren’t supposed to, and he is going to tell on you?  But you’re tattling on yourself before he has a chance to?
Charlotte:  Oh.  Nevermind.

I think that you and Daddy should take a bath together in this giant bathtub.  Me and Trenton and Cullen and Bennett all fit so I think you and Daddy could fit.  You guys could have so much fun!

photo (46)

Family Fast Talk:

(While watching Iron Will)
Trenton (to Charlotte): This movie is about a really really long dog race in Alaska.  (It’s really not in Alaska, but he saw snow and thought it was.)
Charlotte:  What state are they racing to?
Trenton:  They can’t race to another state.  Alaska has water around it.
Me:  Trenton, do you know where Alaska is?
Trenton:  Yes!  It’s in the water.  Next to Hawaii.

photo 2 (35)

Trenton: What are we having for supper tonight?
Me: Daddy is grilling chicken, and I’m making zucchini and potatoes.
Charlotte (from the other room):  What?  Daddy’s growing chickens?  Are we really going to have a chicken garden?  That’s so cool!

(The next day)
Trenton:  You know you can’t plant chickens, right?
Charlotte:  Yes you can.  You just need chicken seeds.
Trenton:  There are no such things as chicken seeds.
Charlotte:  Yes there is.  And I’m going to plant them.  And garlic bread seeds too.

Charlotte:  How many vitamins do we get when we grow up?
Me:  Still two.
Trenton:  Well I saw Mimi eat three.  So do really really old people get three?

photo 3 (20)

Charlotte:  After we move to Pennsylvania, I want to move to where the desert and pyramids is.
Trenton:  We won’t need electricity if we move to the desert.  The sun can make all of our stuff work!

Charlotte:  What do you do if a bear tries to eat you?
Trenton:  I know!  Call 9-0-9!

Trenton:  What happens if electricity touches you?
Charlotte:  You get electronic.

Trenton:  Is that the dairy that we went to?
Me:  No, this dairy has Holsteins.  The one that we went to had Jersey cows.
Charlotte:  From New Jersey?



Wanting more?  Here are links to previous Out of the Mouths posts:
First Edition
Pregnancy Edition
Third Edition


Jen said...

Haha the gray hair comment is priceless.

Traci@TheHallway said...

Hahahaha! I love it! You guys could have fun in the bath tub! ;) hahaha

Shannon said...

I laughed like 10 times reading these, but the first one about getting his hair grayed is probably the best!!!

Theresa Breslin said...

I chuckled the whole way through! This is good stuff.

Rachel Ross said...

Oh my gosh, love this!! They are HILARIOUS!!

henning love said...

hahah i love these posts!! kids really do say the darnest things especially the first quote

Kate @ Daffodils said...

I love these kids

Amy said...

Ha. My favorites are the hair, the one about Alaska, and the expert nose picker! Love these-- thanks for sharing!

Jenn said...

Your kids are hilarious. Loved ALL of these!!