The things that come out of my kids’ mouths never cease to amaze me. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s thoughtful, and most of the time it’s entertaining. Here are some of my favorites from the past few months.
Talking with Trenton:
Why don’t the wrinkles go away on old people after they get out of the swimming pool?
Nurse Mary had to ask me questions to make sure I didn’t crack my brain when I hit my face on the blacktop.
Trenton: I want to take you on a date to a really nice restaurant.
Me: Really? That’s really sweet. Do you know of any really nice restaurants?
Trenton: Yes. That barrel place (Cracker Barrel). They have candles on the table, so that means it’s really nice.
You’re the best mommy in the world. Well, you AND Mary. She was Jesus’ mommy, so she was a really good mommy too.
Me: This restaurant was built in 1867.
Trenton: Is that the year you were born?
Hey Daddy – when can I watch IndyAndy Jones? Han Solo is in that movie, right?
Jarrod: Trenton, are you trying to get Charlotte to say something that she shouldn’t?
Jarrod: What were you trying to get her to say?
Trenton: Ummmmm….the F word.
Jarrod: The F word?!?! What’s the F word?
T: I don’t think I’m supposed to say it.
Jarrod: It’s okay. You can tell me just this once.
Trenton: (pause) (sigh) Okay….fart.
Mimi, Pops, Charlotte, everybody – guess what. Mommy shaves! I found two shavers in her shower! And they’re pink! What do you think she shaves? Her face?
I don’t like potatoes. That’s just how God made me.
Whew, it’s hard work with a baby! You have to make sure they don’t try to climb the stairs and fall. And you have to make sure they don’t eat little things that can choke them. Babies are hard work!
Charlotte: Can you read me this book please?
Me: Sure. Let me put Evelyn down for a nap, and then I’ll read it to you.
Charlotte: (Goes to her piggie bank and comes back to me.) I’ll give you three moneys if you’ll read it right now.
Charlotte: What is beer made out of?
Charlotte: That’s what cereal is made out of! So why can’t I drink beer but I can eat cereal?
Charlotte: I don’t like the orange part in sweet potatoes.
Me: Oh really? Well what part do you like then?
Charlotte: The marshmallow part!
I still have my baby boobies.
When are they going to grow?
Mommy, if I give you 100 kisses would I not have to clean anymore?
Charlotte: Can I buy a drink please?
Me: Not right now. My wallet is in the diaper bag, and Daddy has the diaper bag.
Charlotte: Well can you just say please real nice if you don’t have any money?
Jarrod: Charlotte, your shoes are on the wrong feet.
Charlotte: Shut! Not again!
Jarrod: That’s not a nice word. Where did you hear that?
(And no, we didn’t correct her pronunciation issues)
Charlotte: No, Mommy. You’re wrong. I know more than you do.
Me: Oh really? And what makes you think that?
Charlotte: I’m in school, and you’re not.
Charlotte: I can spell almost everything.
Me: What can you spell?
Charlotte: Charlotte and cat
Me: Wow! That’s almost everything!
You know what my favorite part of the fish stick is? The chicken on the inside!
(To Trenton) Let’s pretend you’re Abraham Lincoln and I’m Abraham Lincoln’s wife!
(pretend play gets interesting around here!)